I’m no stranger to dating apps, for the past four years I’ve been on Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid and Happn. Tinder and Bumble are the ones I’ve been on the most, OkCupid was interesting for about a month until all the creepy messages started irritating me and Happn only lasted a day on my phone. I find that Tinder has a lot of guys who just want to hookup and will 100% ghost you if you don’t put out. Bumble has less fuckboys than Tinder and more guys who actually want to date you. OkCupid is just a complete mess full of weird dudes and Happn is legitimately a stalking app. None of them are truly great and I’m still using them.
However, I’m still single and that could be because in 4 years of trying dating apps I’ve only gone on 5 dates and only one of those dates turned into a second date. So, what’s the problem, is it me or the apps? I’ve come to the realization that it is me because I get anxious and uncomfortable with the idea of meeting guys off dating apps. I overthink everything that could go wrong, if I look different in person or if the date is going to be super awkward. Yet, every once in a while, I’ll go on one in the effort to make myself think that I’m trying to ‘put myself out there’. But, even though I’ll go on dates, I still hate them because I never know what to except out of the date or how to be a normal human being and behave accordingly. I usually do my best to act outgoing during a date even if on the inside, I just want to go in bed, watch TV and pine over fictional characters.
Meeting new people in a sort of forced environment makes me feel awkward and I don’t understand how some people like it. I don’t enjoy putting myself out there, is it because I’m scared of getting hurt? Probably, I mean I have a lot of issues when it comes to trusting guys (thanks dad!) and it’s getting so frustrating since I feel as if there’s something wrong with me. I feel like I should be meeting new people and socializing to make new friends or connections. But there’s something holding me back and I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried giving them up, yet every time I get bored or one of my friends gets a boyfriend I re-download one. I’m also not great at talking to guys at bars, partly due to my social anxiety, and because I’m a bit weird looking (resting bitch face wooo). So, what do you guys think, should I try dating apps some more or delete them and try to meet someone organically?